The Origins of Clan WumboQ Part 2

The internet and electronics were still in the early stages, so imagination was still a powerful instrument.  We weren’t just satisfied as a clan, we needed a little more zeal.  So we came up with code names or epithets for ourselves.

It all started with Matt.  Back in middle school, we were very immature, as to be expected.  We got giggly over reading passages in Song of Solomon.  We obsessed over this book mainly because it was one of the hardest books to flip to in the Bible.  Don’t ever test us in Bible Drill with this book, we’ll find it so fast.  In particular, the verse that always got us to laugh was Chapter 8 verse 10.  It reads:

I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment.

Naturally, we gave the title “The Wall” to Matt.  Because, look at this picture and tell me you wouldn’t call him The Wall.


And that’s when we decided, we all needed epithets.  I came next.  Back then I was a little chunky, so we brainstormed over squishy or soft things.  We agreed upon the name “The Couch”.


Next, was Caleb.  I’m pretty sure we were looking at a delivery box when we came up with this one; “FedEx”.  He liked it mostly because of the “X”;  He was a fanboy of Degeneration X at the time and since he and Stu were such twinsies, we gave Stu “X-deF”.  Their bond is unquestionable even to this day.


Now, we were all pretty flamboyant back then.  Marty just happened to be a little bit more-so, so we gave him the title “The Rainbow”.  We found that it fit nicely.


We were pretty into it; the whole Clan WumboQ thing.  I mean look at the way Stu and Matt signed my yearbook Freshman year in high school.

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We made comics about this and even invented a super villain, Red X (Uncle Robin).  Some of us created AIM screen names to match our new epithets (hence, WcUoMuBcOhQ).  We created a Xanga group.  Stu even made a buddy icon for us; it was pretty cool.  When we graduated high school, Matt and Stu actually adorned the WQ on their cap like I did for college; I regret not following suit then.  In school, I would tag the “WQ” on tests I wanted to do well on.

To date, there have been no female members, nor has there ever been new members.  Theoretically, our significant others would be members, but none of our dates, girlfriends or interests ever stuck around long enough to be inducted in.  Being creative kids though, we did dream up a “2nd string” for Clan WumboQ.  It was never official, it was all for fun;  we just respected these guys in the grade below us when we were in RAs.  Of course, we gave them epithets too.

Ethan “Hidden Dragon” Fung – named after the hidden potential we thought he had.  And for essentially being the Matt of his grade during that time period.

Austin “Crouching Tiger” Quan – named to compliment the Hidden Dragon

Chris “Flying Dagger” Wong – you can kind of tell where we got these names.. House of Flying Daggers and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon were rather popular kung fu movies at the time

Jensen “Ticket” Hu – named after a Cartoon Network commercial.  The “ello Ticket” one.

Though they never bought into our nonsense, we actually ended up addressing Jensen as Ticket for a LONG time.  Actually, I think we still do..

Some other temporary members include

Jimmy “Fangorn” Tang – named after his hairiness

Cameron “Hutch” Lee – named after Hutch.. from Starsky and Hutch

They were temporary just for the fun of making an epithet, or a result of fun during summer camp.

I know what you’re thinking.  “What about Kevin?”


Though WumboQ will always reside in our hearts, by the time Kevin became our good friend, we had outgrown our imaginations.  He did have his own natural nicknames: “Big Kevin” and “Gangsta Kev”.  Whether or not he is actually WumboQ material, we’ll always be the best of friends.

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