Roommate Stories Part 5

To reiterate, the following is a compilation of (funny or not so funny) stories of the bad behavior and mannerisms of roommates. This doesn’t necessarily mean they were bad people, they just had instances of poor habits while living with them. These stories could be from my experience or from a friend’s experience. They could be from my days in college or a story passed on to me. In order to keep things ambiguous and to discourage witch hunts, I’ll tell all the stories from the first person point of view and each bad roommate will be depicted as a guy. In order to keep you guessing, this blog post will contain one lie. Now let’s hear some stories:

  • One year, I shared a room with another guy.  He was very particular about things as we were in bed.  He would get angry at me for playing my DS in bed.  Which is understandable since the screen is pretty bright and maybe my buttons are loud when they are pressed.  But it puzzles me because he would stay up late playing his PSP.  Double standard.
  • I’m not the biggest advocate of “going green”, but I went through a recycling phase.  I even got my roommates into it a little bit.  Although, one roommate in particular had interesting trash habits.  He would put some of his trash around the trashcan (not in it) because he would try to throw some of it out as he left for class (but he usually neglected it so it stunk up the apartment).  And when it came to recycling, he would place it on my desk (rather than the designated recycling bag), as if he wanted me to reward him for keeping his plastic bottles.  After a long day I would sometimes come back to a desk littered with empty water bottles.
  • My roommate ran out of power outlets in his area, so I let him plug in his charger on my power strip.  I had stepped out not too long after that.  I came back and realized that he had accidentally or purposely grabbed my charger when he was done.  I knew it was his because his charger was all torn and beaten up.  Sometimes you’d have to wiggle it around in order to get it to start working.  It was before a major break so I couldn’t get it back in a timely fashion.  And by the time I saw him again, the charger was already torn and destroyed.  Sad day.
  • Despite being sick, my roommate still insisted on staying up late doing mindless things on his computer.  By mindless, I mean he wasn’t working on homework or anything important.  I would constantly be awoken by his mucus filled coughs, him blowing his nose and incessant straw slurping from his drink.
  • We lived in a small apartment together, so there wasn’t a pantry for him and one for me, we shared one.  There were a couple instances where he thought my food was his food.  So whenever I would go to make my food, he would glare at me since he thought it was his.  I was all sorts of conflicted.
  • One day, my roommate woke up late and wanted to eat lunch, but he was too lazy to cook anything or go out to get something.  So he started snacking on the bag of chips I bought.  It was the big 16 oz kind and it was unopened, so I was happy to share.  I was busy doing my own thing so I didn’t notice how much he ate.  Not too long after, I realized he just ate the entire bag of chips as his lunch.  Not sure if I was more annoyed or disgusted.
  • A couple doors down, there lived a particularly creepy girl.  She would sometimes stare or make weird moves on my roommate as he passed by the door.  Think of her eyes looking at you like a slug slowly crawling along a leaf.  It got to a point where I would sometimes walk with him out the building, because I guess that was enough to deter her.  Although, that left me alone to walk back to my door.  So, there were a couple times she began to creep on me on my way back.
  • The fire alarm went off a lot at our apartment because my roommate often forgot to turn on the vent above the stove.  He would find ways to make it seem like it wasn’t his fault.  Like, apartment is poorly ventilated or this marinade is causing the meat to smoke too much.
  • One of my roommates didn’t respect the fact that people were asleep.  He would wake us up for very trivial things.  One time, he woke me up from a nap to ask if I wanted to go to the store with him… tomorrow.  It wasn’t even like we were light sleepers.  He would constantly shake or tap us until we were completely awake before he asked us anything.
  • I stopped buying paper towels for the apartment.  From my experience, a roll should last about a week if 3-5 people are using them.  I stopped because my apartment mates were burning through them so fast.  I swear, I would use 2 sheets before the roll became depleted.  I took some time to observe to make sure I wasn’t crazy.  One instance, instead of grabbing a plate, my roommate folded 2 paper towels together to eat a sandwich off of.  When he was done, he threw it away, pulled another sheet to wipe his hands and mouth and threw that one away.  And then he washed his hands and grabbed 2 more sheets to dry them.  The worst was when I left for home one weekend.  I had put out the last paper towel roll and I figured it would last a while.  I left Saturday night, and that roll was completely used up when I came back the next evening.  Never again.
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